shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
