office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
