some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize