I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
