Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
