Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
