It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Damn victory sex feels great
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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