I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize