ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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