I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
