I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
