why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
