The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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