Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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