separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
