he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize