i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
