I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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