It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
