very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
