I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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