whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Someone shit on the floor
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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