worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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