I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
