Small penises have feelings too.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
