Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
