roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
