she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
