I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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