I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize