I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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