all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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