Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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