Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
