I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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