At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
