He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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