I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
