there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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