dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
