He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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