I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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