Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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