Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
