Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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