We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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