I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
