Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
