I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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