He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
