How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
