i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
