did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
