Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
