well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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