Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
