I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
