I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize