you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
