So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
