are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
