I showed him my bush... on skype.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
