I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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