College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
