Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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