is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
