$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
