yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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