I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Pooping to opera.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
