Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
