I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i out mim tonsoeep
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize