All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
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