I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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