Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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