Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
